Wanted: one Muse to aid in inspiration and creativity for the writing of my novel and various lines of poetry. Must show up everyday and at reasonable hours. No 1:30am brainstorming wake-up calls, please. Must stay for entirety of time alloted for writing. No sneaking off for a “coffee break” and taking the rest of the day off. (That Bitch.) Must be able to stay on task and not stare off daydreaming about that other book you read. Editing and critiquing are NOT part of the job description. Will be paid with wine and chocolate. If interested, apply immediately and be ready to work. Oh, and no flirting with the husband. Keep your gremlies off.
Eliza Keller 
Good luck expecting the Muse to keep reasonable hours; the only way I’ve managed it is to work so hard on my writing during the day (when possible) that She is exhausted. Subconscious thought about my work also helps.